I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
