I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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