Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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