I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
