I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
