So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
