Will you blow on my dice?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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