I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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