i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There r osticjed everywhere
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
