i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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