she smelled like a LAN party
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
