Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
