Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
