i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
