So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
