Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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