Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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