Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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