first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wish I only lived at night.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
