Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
