I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
