Duck Duck Cougar?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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