did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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