please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want to make out with him forever
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
