I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
