Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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