His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They took my balls.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
