Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
