Why are handjobs necessary in class?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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