She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
