His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
