Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
