So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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