You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
