sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
