so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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