I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
