He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
