three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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