I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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