i would one night stand the shit outta him
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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