If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
