I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
