I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
