I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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