im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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