I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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