So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
