forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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