hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
sex in a hospital.. check
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
