they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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