We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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