i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the day after is always just damage control
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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